When the dust had settled and everyone was gone and I found myself alone in the house. I felt totally lost. I rearranged the furniture, I put records on the turntable, (yep there is that age thing again) and tried to act like everything was okay. Chuck and his wife came over often, but I could not sit on the couch. I had a hard time even looking at it.

It was about a week to Dannielles 12th birthday, and I wanted to do something really big for her. I started making phone calls to the parents of her friends that I knew, and sent out letters to others. I wanted to have a big sleep over party for her. It was to be a boy girl party because her "gang" was mixed, and they all adored her, as she did them. I had promised all the parents I was not going to sleep that night. Given that most of them knew their kids, and Dannielle they agreed to give it a try. There was a couple of moments when I felt like I had gone too far, but they were handled and everyone had a good time. I didn't know that one of the boys had brought a bottle of alcohol with them and spiked the punch. But to the best of my knowledge no one got hurt, and everyone made it home safe and sound the next day.

I had been trying to find a job. The new owners of the Dairy Queen came and offered me a job. I accepted it, as an assistant manager, but their son was the manager. He was 17 and of course in their eyes he could do no wrong. I think I lasted 2 weeks. Every time I would hand out an assignment, or ask who was responsible for doing this or that, he over rode me, and let his friends get by with a "warning". They had a good laugh.

My emotions were so fragile at that moment that I broke down more often than not, so I quit to save them the trouble of firing me. I was actually feeling like I wanted to hurt someone. Not kill, just hurt. So I became very isolated. I didn't go outside the house, it was even hard to go to the mailbox at the end of the drive.

I had not noticed that Dannielle had not been going to school. I guess I forgot she still had school. When the lights got turned off, I sent her to stay with Debbie, so that she could at least have a hot meal. A few days later the water was turned off, and then the phone. I tried to stay in the quiet dark house, but Chuck and his wife came to my rescue and told me to come stay with them. Dannielle was having trouble staying with Debbie. She wanted to be where I was, so she came to stay at Chuck's also. When the school year ended and her report card came in, they had failed her due to attendance. Her grades were all still really good. A's and B's, but she had not attended enough days.

I made an appointment with the principal and explained to him how the school year had gone. Grandma being in and out of the hospital, me spending all my time between the hospital and Dannielle and trying to keep it altogether, then after grandma had passed my isolation and drunkenness, She was afraid to leave me alone, not knowing what she would find when she got home. They had a meeting, he presented the case to the board, and she was promoted because even through all that, her grades never slipped. It would have been a waste to keep her back because of these circumstances.

That was a long summer, and I can't remember most of it. I do remember living with Chuck and his wife was a very trying time. Having them as friends and living with them was quite different scenarios. Living there, it became very evident that they were not in love. While he loved her dearly, it was not returned. She told me about her life before him, and the man that she always felt most in love with. She even told me that she was not sure that the daughter was Chucks child. She didn't feel strong motherly pulls to her daughters either.

She had two daughters from a previous marriage, and they came for the summer. They got along with Dannielle and she tried to show them a good time, but in the end, they were really not interested in her 'childish' activities. They had told her that they did 'adult' things when they were with their Dad, and his boyfriend. I didn't really think anything about it at the time. I thought they were just trying to make themselves more superior.

After they had gone home to their dad, Chucks wife told me she was going to make Chuck leave. She had a plan so that she would keep everything. When I asked her what was going on she told me that Chuck had been touching her girls in bad places. I didn't believe it, but I was angry. He had been baby sitting Dannielle while I worked. What if had touched her too. I would have wanted to do some really terrible things to him. (this was before the Lorna Bobbit story, but....) Lets just say that Lorna Bobbit was not alone in her desire to do what she had the guts to do.

I asked Dannielle if Chuck had ever done anything like that with her. (Remember, she's 12-13) her exact words to me were "OH HELL NO! And if anyone ever said he did they are lying."

Okay, so did he do it to the girls? I told his wife what Dannielle said, and she told me to move out. I didn't have a clue where to go, but I knew I had to go some place. While I was living there, I had trouble making my car payments, so I let it go back. Now I had no car, and no place to live, and I was lost.

Debbie had taken over executor of Mothers Estate, because I was not emotionally capable of doing it. The house was headed for foreclosure, even though I had told all of the siblings that I could not pay the bills. I told them what they payments were, what the taxes were, but they all said it was my house and my responsibility.

Debbie had decided to quit her job in Belle Glade and come back to Okeechobee. She had worked at the hospital before in the Respiratory Therapy department, and went back to work there. She withdrew her retirement from the Belle Glade PD (about 5 years worth) and paid the house out of foreclosure and moved in it with her family. Dannielle and I went to live with them there.

Chucks wife had filed charges against him for child molestation, and he was arrested. I got pretty friendly with his Mom as we were trying to get some kind of defense. Dannielle still said that she did not believe that he would have ever done that, and then told me the stories that his wife daughters had told her during the summer. I was sure that all the evidence would set him free, but his attorney didn't seem to care.

I started researching at the library, (you know, that paralegal training?) and presented all the precedent I could find. I told him he needed to depose the girls and their Father and "the boyfriend" and that there would be enough evidence to cause doubt to a jury. The lawyer had a heart attack and died. We found another lawyer to take the case, but she urged him to take a plea, do house arrest and let it go. I found out later that she had never taken a case to trial.

He took the deal so he would not go to prison, but he lost everything. He moved in with his Mother. He had lost his jobs, he always had more than one. He found out about a potato chip delivery route. It was selling chips to businesses, bars and homes. It was the entire Lake Area. I went with him, to help him out, and stay busy.

Things seemed to be looking up and I thought, WAS THIS A LIGHT?